Reflections on loving God, being Catholic, being a woman, being ill, loving life and anything else that comes to mind.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

I'm Still Here

Moving gets in the way of everything. As do several bouts of bronchitis, 1 of pneumonia & the discovery that I must have surgery on both eyes to remove cataracts.

Me: Aren't I too young to have cataracts?

Ophthalmologist: Have you been taking steroids?

Me: silence & a shrug. (In one form or another, I take steroids every day & have for the past 10 years. For those on steroids, if they're necessary, what can you do? At least ask about alternatives & do some research. Don't risk your life but don't just blindly accept everything doctors tell you.)

As for blindly accepting what doctors tell me, I have discovered I was misdiagnosed. Yes, I have autoimmune diseases but some aren't affecting me as I had been led to believe. Pain & inflammation in my hips & knee come from an old injury when I was 17 exacerbated by years of dancing on it. I've found an excellent physical therapist who challenges me & though I was away for a month because of bronchitis & another bout w/ a skin infection after having blood drawn, the knee is getting better & we're working on the hips. God is very good. More than very good. Reductions in pain meds on the way but must continue to take the meds that make me a swollen balloon, at least for now. Still, there's hope. Exercise & dance are powerful gifts for healing. Also, the simplest treatments are the most effective, for me at least: a sinus wash system (just a bottle that gently squeezes saline solution into my lower sinus cavities) has eased allergic reactions & allowed me to eliminate several allergy meds. The list is getting smaller. Did I mention, God is very good?

And another project is filling my time: Loved As If, the story of how I was ripped to shreds, sought healing, found it in Christian community & why that community had to be Catholic. I think I'll post portions of it here & would love comments. Please, please, please, tell me the truth. Both about my writing & my subject. You'll help me become a better writer. The story is painful but not graphic. Some of it is intense but then so was my life. Living w/ evil is intense. More so living w/ God - even for a five year old child.

Prayers are requested. You all have my continuing prayers. May God bless all who come here. (In case you doubt it, He is very, very good.)

PS: please note, I've changed my email.

PPS: will get to part 3 of CST postings when life becomes less hectic. Also, I must write part 3 w/ great tenderness because it's about the other victim in the room, my friend who doesn't realize it. Please pray that God will give me tenderness and clear any remnants of judgement from my heart. I can't walk the path my friend is walking but I can love my friend and pray for repentance. Perhaps I've needed some time to get to that point.