I'm still around, having health issues but thinking & planning & occasionally commenting on something I see. Here's a recent comment I made on the blog for the new women's magazine, Verily:

My comment:
"Do you think there are ways that unmarried women can be practicing commitment in small ways to be building character traits that help prepare for lifelong marriages?" I'm not Ashley but I will give my answer to your question: 'Yes!' We can perform our "manifest duties" well: give appropriate notice when we leave a job (sometimes that's more than 2 weeks) or a roommate situation. Pay bills on time. Repay friends when it's really possible & not just when asked or when we've got extra cash. (When do we have extra?) Learn to tell the truth & not what we hope will be the truth (ie: I don't know when I'll be able to repay this so if you can't spare it, please don't make the loan.) Seek to do our jobs well, even the parts we don't like. Ask how we might help when we have downtime. We ought to be making & keeping commitments to serve God & our neighbours: Church at least once each week. Defined prayer times (morning prayer, evening prayer, the Rosary, etc. can be very helpful). We can also engage in what I call "personal giving" so that when we want to slack off, we know the people we would be hurting - it helps enormously if children are involved because it hurts to disappoint a child. (ie: Recently, I remade a flower girl dress for a child in a family of 9 whose eldest son is marrying. They couldn't afford a seamstress. I also loaned shoes & a belt to the mother knowing she can't afford cool accessories but would love to have them. Because I'm ill, the sewing was quite difficult but I couldn't let them down so I did it.) Most of our lives can be spent building our characters so that we are able to make & keep commitments. For most of us, marriage is only the biggest commitment we will make.

Their response:
Alessandre, I love your ideas for small personal commitments. I see them also as ways to serve others. As a single person (not-married), it is so easy to craft my schedule around whatever I would enjoy at that moment. The ideas you gave really reminded me of service and the ways that serving others or being attuned to others can help us develop character. Great points!

Check out Verily's teaser issue. I'm not involved but I'd love your comments since I've been thinking about a project in the same area but different. I'll keep my own comments on Verily & info on my project to myself for now. God bless you all & thanks for hanging in there. I continue to hope for stability in my health but then something changes; that's what it means to live on earth.

Bluebeard

(This post was inspired by a friends post at The Emperor Has No Clothes. Follow the link in her 1st sentence to the article about which inspired her question.)


Bluebeard (Edna St. Vincent Millay)
This door you might not open, and you did;
So enter now, and see for what slight thing
You are betrayed.... Here is no treasure hid,
No cauldron, no clear crystal mirroring
The sought-for truth, no heads of women slain
For greed like yours, no writhings of distress,
But only what you see.... Look yet again—
An empty room, cobwebbed and comfortless.
Yet this alone out of my life I kept
Unto myself, lest any know me quite;
And you did so profane me when you crept
Unto the threshold of this room to-night
That I must never more behold your face.
This now is yours. I seek another place.

A male friend directed me to this poem when he learned I was beginning to work on a women's webzine. It made me pay attention to all the professional women I knew, had known & kept hearing about who, after a time, hated their jobs; to the new mothers who wanted to be with their babies; to the disappointed women who had been convinced that law or accounting or business or medicine was their calling only to discover 20 years later that they were engaged in boring, repetitive activity no matter the level they had achieved. I've known vicious managers & meek receptionists (& vice versa) who after a drink or two tell me they hate their jobs, their lives - people talk to me a lot. With birth control, we peeked behind the forbidden door, into the male world which ought to have been full of glorious treasure only to find that men had sacrificed their souls to care for their families..We insisted that we could do as they did but we never asked what we might be losing or what we might be taking from them.

By & large, we now live in a culture that emasculates men & defeminizes women. Women have been taught to be tough but so many of us never learned to love, never learned to defer because often, being right is much less important than loving another, never learned to be obedient because we began rebelling as teenagers and didn't know how to listen to anyone unless involved in negotiations for our own benefit. We don't know how to be women, made in God's image & the crowning glory of His creation just as men don't know how to be man, made in God's image & the lord of His creation. It's not at all surprising, therefore, that neither men nor women are happier. There are, of course, happy individuals but on the whole, our behaviour is not that of happy people.

I shan't revisit the contents of the article in my friend's post but there are a few additional indicators of unhappiness that aren't mentioned: So many men have given up not only on marriage but on any relationships at all: men have been so traumatized by women who screech at them when they hold a door or fail to hold it, they sit at home alone in chat rooms & playing games & yes, on porn sites. In the past five years, I've met a dozen or more men who go on bride meeting holidays in Asian, Eastern European & Latin American countries because non-American women are willing to be wives; those men tell me such trips are numerous & packed. Many women have given up as well. We too have growing relationships w/ our computers & 1/3 of us visit porn sites - it's not just for men anymore.

Birth control gave women everything we were convinced we were missing. Some women are glad. Many of us simply wish we had had mothers to teach us to be wives & homemakers, to be gentle & loving & feminine, to be partners to men rather than competitors. And a very few of us are working to help women who want to be women, who know they can do almost anything but who want to learn to love & support & care for a husband & family & help build the Body of Christ or at least their community in ways that men can't. Certainly that includes work when that is a woman's calling or a family's need but because it's her calling or the family's need not because she is just as good as a man.

And maybe that's why we're so unhappy, because it has always been silly to make male/female relationships into a competition to determine whose better. We're both fallen, we're both rebellious and, if we choose to accept it, we've both been redeemed. Which means being a woman has been redeemed and might be something so glorious, so much more than we imagine if we will be obedient to Christ.

A Modern Conversion Story: God is Great!

In the spring of 2010, I embarked on a project with a doctor, co-writing a book about the vagina. It was to be a funky self-help guide to a woman’s most misunderstood parts: The Vagina, an Owner’s Guide. Part of my remit was to garner as much anecdotal information as possible. I decided to interview prostitutes and Muslims, Catholics and lesbians.

The hookers and gay women were easy talkers. The religious women less so. But I live near Rome and run into nuns every day – what a scoop, to talk to a nun about her vagina! But the approach would be tricky. I knew of a priest through a friend, a youngish man who chatted easily at the grocer’s. Perhaps he could introduce me to an open-minded sister. One March morning, I emailed him: “Dear Father, I am writing a book about vaginas …”

And so the clash of the sacred and profane began. [continue...]

If That's All There Is

I've been watching Christian movies recently, everything from VeggieTales to movies about saints to films about Our Lady's & Our Lord's apparitions (she seems to make visits with messages for the world or healing springs, etc. & He tends to make personal, individual visits). I've been watching personal stories, fiction & documentaries. My requirements have been, does the film recognize that Jesus Christ is Lord & that Christ was crucified, rose from the dead, ascended into Heaven & is with us through the comforter He promised, the Holy Spirit? They don't all enunciate that particular formula but that is the basic premise; if it is not, the film quickly degenerates into ideology & nice warm feelings.

There are many reasons I've been watching Christian movies. The 1st is that afterwards, I feel clean. My background of abuse leaves me susceptible to flashbacks & even now, I must fight the belief that I deserve to be abused. Christian movies don't trigger those negative experiences, they remind me of God's love & actual intention for me which is certainly not more of the evil things that were done to me in the past. Christian movies are another way to focus on Jesus even when my mind is woozy w/ drugs. And I'm interested in what's out there. Christian rock is the fastest growing segment of the music market. It is my hope that Christian films will soon be in a similar position. I want to live in a world that shows me good things not evil. Of course I still watch cartoons & an occasional episode of Buffy or an action or superhero film. But in general, just as I prefer to read good things, I've come to see that I prefer to watch & listen to good things. And finally, many films are like Psalms, they sing praise to God & that's my very favourite thing to do. Every so often, when a film impresses me for good or ill, I plan to write about it.

Recently I watched, A Greater Yes: The Amy Newhouse Story on Netflix. I am happily impressed at the Christian films I can stream or order on Netflix. A Greater Yes is the depiction of Amy Newhouse's response to cancer. At 16, she is clearly God's child, she belongs to Him & has a strong sense of a mission to touch the lives of others for Christ. The Movieguide review says, in part:

The movie A GREATER YES has its heart in the right place. The message is compelling, the emotion strong, and it’s a story that no parent can watch without being moved. The role of Amy is played well, though most of the supporting cast is a bit weak.

The story is very moving, but the script tells but doesn’t show the plot points. All of the scenes are characters talking with no action. Amy’s character is so perfect that she is always perky, even going through the hardest times.

What Movieguide calls perky is actually an indomitable faith in God. As she says, "God always answers my prayers." After suffering six months of grueling side affects from chemotherapy, she believes she has been healed & is ready to take on the world. Though others want her to take a break, she feels she has lived through six inactive months & can't wait another moment to extend God's love to the world. She voices her desire to have a career as a missionary & begins to do everything she can in her own community to share Christ's love. Then the cancer resurfaces, treatment is not working & she is sent home to die. At 1st she wonders why God has left her & stopped answering her prayers but then she discovers that God has been answering "No" because He has a greater yes in store for her.

My main interest in writing about this film (& others too) isn't the cinematography or any of the usual criticisms one encounters in reviews. I'm interested in the message that's portrayed in the story & I think A Greater Yes is missing something, something very important. Amy is the narrator & we come to understand her experience of God through her eyes. Ultimately, I think Amy comes to the right conclusions but she has no sense that suffering is redemptive. Her six inactive months are spent helping a young girl get through chemo, as if God knew she was strong enough to care for the child who was afraid & in need of Amy's childlike faith. Each day, she has her boyfriend invite the school outcast, Jordan, to join his group at lunch. Jordan eventually joins just to get Amy to stop asking & also joins the 6 a.m. prayer group that is praying for Amy's healing; previously, Jordan was a rebel who would not consider prayer. Amy's suffering sparks a revival of faith in a large part of TX. Even today, her story continues to touch hearts & encourage others to love Christ & to persevere. It would have been nice if the other characters were stronger, particularly her parents - I'd have loved to see them sharing their faith with their children. But even without knowing more about them, Amy is very much like St. Therese of Lisieux: she loves Jesus & when the time comes, she suffers with Him. The film doesn't make that clear, just as it fails to make it clear that Amy suffers for Christ - her suffering is a gift that will bring many to Christ just as Christ's suffering made it possible for us to become children of God. (I think Jesus knew we would forget how powerful His sacrifice was so He sends us reminders through people like Amy; it's another way we can know Christ did not leave us alone.) Finally,  I wish she had understood that suffering was also God's gift to her, that God took His dear child, Amy & conformed her to His Son's image: through suffering: she died with Him & she will reign with Him. (See 2 Timothy 2:12)

If suffering only means revival, it's good but it's not much. Helping others is nice but I want more than nice. I want to love like Christ does. I want to heal like Christ does. I want to be made like Christ because that is what God made me to be & only through accepting His will for me can I fully love others; only then is suffering worth it. A person conformed to Christ's image is the most attractive person there is. He (or she) is the only person who can truly win souls to Christ because Christ has been invited to use him/her exactly as He wills.

I highly recommend A Greater Yes: The Story of Amy Newhouse. And I strongly suggest that it be watched while asking the question, is she being conformed to Christ? Though she seems not to be aware of it, she becomes so much like Him, so on fire with Christ's love, her death, so she will be with Christ face-to-face, makes perfect sense even though it is excruciating for those who love her. And though she has died, she will touch more people than the limited few she mentions. God put her in the right place to help the school outcast, put her in the right place to help another child through chemo, He has put her in the right place to show many souls the love of Christ. The God of the living still holds Amy Newhouse in the palm of His hand. She lives with & in Him & she will reign with Him. I have been graced by her story & look forward to meeting her on someday.

Post from 10 Righteous Men

Please, please beg for God's help.

New Project

I have been working on a new project, Ten Righteous Men. I have been praying and asking some of my friends what I could do to help our country. The blog is the answer to those prayers, at least thus far. It's based on Genesis 18: 17-33:

The LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, seeing that Abraham shall become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall bless themselves by him? No, for I have chosen him, that he may charge his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice; so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what he has promised him." Then the LORD said, "Because the outcry against Sodom and Gomor'rah is great and their sin is very grave, I will go down to see whether they have done altogether according to the outcry which has come to me; and if not, I will know." So the men turned from there, and went toward Sodom; but Abraham still stood before the LORD. Then Abraham drew near, and said, "Wilt thou indeed destroy the righteous with the wicked? Suppose there are fifty righteous within the city; wilt thou then destroy the place and not spare it for the fifty righteous who are in it? Far be it from thee to do such a thing, to slay the righteous with the wicked, so that the righteous fare as the wicked! Far be that from thee! Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" And the LORD said, "If I find at Sodom fifty righteous in the city, I will spare the whole place for their sake." Abraham answered, "Behold, I have taken upon myself to speak to the Lord, I who am but dust and ashes. Suppose five of the fifty righteous are lacking? Wilt thou destroy the whole city for lack of five?" And he said, "I will not destroy it if I find forty-five there." Again he spoke to him, and said, "Suppose forty are found there." He answered, "For the sake of forty I will not do it." Then he said, "Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak. Suppose thirty are found there." He answered, "I will not do it, if I find thirty there." He said, "Behold, I have taken upon myself to speak to the Lord. Suppose twenty are found there." He answered, "For the sake of twenty I will not destroy it." Then he said, "Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak again but this once. Suppose ten are found there." He answered, "For the sake of ten I will not destroy it." And the LORD went his way, when he had finished speaking to Abraham; and Abraham returned to his place.

 We are so focused on ourselves. Recently I asked several acquaintances & friends if they had experienced miracles & all had but all the miracles were personal miracles. There were no miracles of conversion, no miracles of healing others, no miracles of feeding others. All their stories of miracles focused on what God had done for each of them. Some spoke of praying for a year or more before receiving their miracles but God came through. It makes me wonder, what if we put all that prayer & desire into converting those who don't know Christ? What if we prayed & sacrificed & fasted on behalf of our brothers & sisters who suffer from attraction to persons of the same sex & ask Christ to help them carry their cross, ask Him to show us how to be Simon of Cyrene for them? What if we prayed for the healing of nations? There is so much corruption, beginning w/ our own country, & so few to come together & pray, fast & sacrifice. What if we began by praying for God to heal our nation & then focus on every nation on earth until corruption was gone?

Is God limited to giving us such things as new cars & the right job & clothing & spouses? Is this not the God who can & does do everything? He has created everything, constricted Himself into human form, lived w/ us & died to save us. He overcame death itself & rose to life again. In the early Church, there were thousands baptized everyday. There were miracles of healing, miracles of peace - personally & within nations. Why do we behave as if our God has become impotent? Why are we not praying & fasting & sacrificing miracles into existence? Particularly the miracles Christ commanded us to ask for?

These are the questions I have been asking myself & this is the reason that for the next year, I shall be devoting most of my blogging energy to Ten Righteous Men. I've always been stupid, a fool. I believe in miracles; God is absolutely real to me. So we'll see what happens in one year. I'm seeking ways to fast & sacrifice even though I'm ill. I won't be sharing most those sacrifices because such things ought not be broadcast but perhaps from time to time, I'll offer some examples. I do invite you to join me, leave comments. suggest intercessions, suggest whatever God brings to mind. In a year's time, let God find at least ten righteous men, perhaps He will spare us & perhaps we will see Him do greater works than we ever imagined. God bless.

The Issue Is Sin (Part 2)

We The Whipped (Part 2)

Posted by Ann Barnhardt - November 12, AD 2011 11:02 PM MST

Jefferson, and the rest of the Founders, knew that they had a choice laid out before them. They could either revolt against tyranny or surrender to it. We are facing exactly the same choice right now, except that the tyranny that we are now facing is far, far worse than anything Jefferson and the Founders were facing. King George never tried to tax the Colonists on their mere existence, as ObamaCare does. King George never tried to force the Colonists to embrace and celebrate sexual perversion. King George never tried to force the Colonists to pay for and even participate in abortion. King George never attempted to import and establish the satanic scourge of islam in the Colonies.

We are so far past and beyond the “long train of abuses and usurpations” that the Colonists and Founders experienced and which necessitated the Revolutionary War that they aren’t even visible in the rear-view mirror. I dare say that being a Colonist in 1775 did not, by definition, break eight of the Ten Commandments or put a person is a probable state of mortal sin.

And so back to the core premise: the government can’t make you do anything. There is always an alternative, and at a certain point, the alternative of non-compliance is not only available, it is REQUIRED. Read the Declaration:

“But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

It is our right and our DUTY to throw off this government. It is not legitimate and does not possess the consent of the governed, and thus has NO AUTHORITY. This is not to say that this government does not have power – yes it still does have power, but it has NO AUTHORITY. At this point, the only way it can continue to operate is by means of violent coercion, namely property confiscation, imprisonment and execution. This is YOUR country: thieving, murdering criminals running utterly amok, holding their power only through violent coercion and the threat of violent coercion. And it could all be brought to a screeching halt tomorrow if We The People would just turn that intellectual corner and realize that the unjust laws of an illegitimate government need not and should not be followed. They have no power over us. We have power over them, because they derive their JUST powers from the consent of the governed. Withdraw the consent, and the power is gone. Anything remaining is therefore, by definition, UNJUST, and thus must be “abolished” and “thrown off”, to use Jefferson’s words.

Of course you can own and carry a gun. You have the God-given right to your life, and the right to protect yourself, your family and your property. No one can ever, ever take that right away from you except YOU. The state can pass as many laws as it wants banning gun ownership and bearing, but every single one of those laws is illegitimate, and thus should not be followed.

How can the government force you to accept Sharia law, or any evil satanic system? Only YOU decide what you do or do not accept. Obama could write an Executive Order tomorrow declaring that the musloid screech to prayer be blasted from loudspeakers in every city and town five times per day, and the only true use or value that Executive Order would have is as toilet paper. Obama can’t make you accept Sharia law any more than he can make you fly like Superman.

ObamaCare can only force you out of business if you COMPLY with it. The government can only force you into mortal sin if you COMPLY and CONSENT. Obama can mandate that we all buy health insurance, and that all insurance policies cover abortion and contraception. And we can all laugh in his face. His fat wife can further mandate that we all eat celery sticks and tofu on Mondays and Thursdays, and we can likewise laugh in her painted-up-thicker-than-a-tranny face. These people have no power over us. They are slack-jawed, carney-trash gutter filth, and nothing more. Any power they have over us is power that we must specifically consent to give to them. I withdraw my consent. You got a problem with that, Barry? Molon labe.

Finally, back to the theological aspect of all of this, because that’s how I roll up in here. Look at a Crucifix. What you are seeing in a Crucifix is the stark horror of your own freedom and personal sovereignty. You are free to choose, as is every single being made in the image of God. We are so free that God consents to allowing us to choose to torture and kill Him. Oh, yes, we always, always have a choice. And now, because we have allowed it, the choice now stands as this: Either choose to spare yourself the wrath of an evil, illegitimate government or choose to scourge and crucify Christ. Pick up the flagellum and lean into Him. Skin Him. Make Him bleed and shake in pain. Then pick up that hammer and those nails and drive them in. Feel the bones in His feet and ankles crunch as you pound that nail in. And as you’re doing this, look Him in the eye with a big sh**-eating grin on your face. Tell Him how you have no choice, because it’s either this, or you might lose your job, or your 4000 square foot house. And that’s not even a contest, right? I mean, who WOULDN’T torture and kill their best friend, brother, father, spouse, creator and savior in order to stay in the good graces of the IRS and keep a job or a pension income?

The choice is yours. It always has been and always will be. This life will only last for a few more decades at most. What comes after that is eternal. Choose wisely.

The Issue Is Sin (Part 1)

We The Whipped (Part 1)
Posted by Ann Barnhardt - November 12, AD 2011 11:02 PM MST (http://barnhardt.biz/)

I continue to be amazed at how many people in this culture, and most especially those on the “right”, seem to have completely and totally psychologically surrendered to the government. These are the phrases I keep hearing:

“The government makes us pay for abortions. We can’t be held responsible for something we are forced to do.”
“I can’t imagine what life will be like if they make us accept Sharia law.”
“ObamaCare is going to force me out of business.”
“I live in Chicago. They won’t let us have guns here.”
“If I want to keep my job, I have to go along with the diversity training crap.”
“I have to keep paying taxes. It’s all tied directly into my bank account. I have no choice.”

I think that people in this culture actually ENJOY being whipped by the government, because it allows them to delude themselves into believing that they bear no responsibility for anything beyond not burning the toast and making certain that the TiVo is set to record the big game. Given this truly effeminate and childish psychological orientation, it is little wonder that the following sentence – seven little words – strikes fear in the hearts of men and causes them to lash out in hatred and eventually violence:

The government can’t make you do anything.

Oh, the implications. The horrific, horrific implications. Actually, it’s even worse than that. NO ONE can make you do anything. Your employer can’t make you do anything. You can either attend the pro-homosexual, pro-musloid diversity seminar or QUIT YOUR JOB. Your wife can’t make you do anything. Your children can’t make you do anything. You could abandon them tomorrow if you so chose, which is exactly what 90+ percent of black men in the inner-cities have freely chosen to do.

And finally, the ultimate terror. While God COULD force you to do something, because He loves you, He will never, ever force you to do ANYTHING.

As much as you don’t want to believe it, as much as you want to fight it, deny it, and reject it, the inescapable truth of the matter is that you, along with every other human being, are a FREE, SOVEREIGN INDIVIDUAL.

Do I have to pay taxes? Of course not. What are the alternatives? Government confiscation of my assets would be the first alternative. Well, this would simply put me in solidarity with the MF Global customers who have also had their assets confiscated. So be it. The next step would be imprisonment. Fine. So be it. I acknowledge in truth that this is, in fact, the alternative. I do not lie to myself and tell myself that there is NO alternative. You people out there keep saying to yourself that there is NO CHOICE between the government and God because having your assets confiscated or going to prison is “impossible”, and therefore no choice exists. This is a lie. There IS a choice, and we are all being called to make that choice, here, now, in this moment.

Some people have said, “I have children. What do you expect me to do?” Well, I suppose I expect you to do exactly what Thomas Jefferson did. Jefferson wrote and signed the Declaration of Independence in 1776 when he was 33 years old. Writing and signing the Declaration made Jefferson, along with all of the signers, traitors and seditionists against King George III and the British Empire. This was a capital offense and pushed Jefferson and the rest of the Founding Fathers into the corner of either winning independence or dying at the end of a rope as a war trophy. At the time, his daughter Patsy was three years old. Not only did Jefferson sign the Declaration, he threw himself into the Revolutionary War and became Governor of Virginia. And while all of this was going on, Jefferson had five more children. Jane was born in 1774. A son was born and died within hours in 1777. Mary was born in 1778. Lucy was born in 1780 and died soon thereafter. Lucy Elizabeth was born in 1782. Jefferson’s home, Monticello, was a target of the British, and was in fact captured in 1781 by Cornwallis. Jefferson and his family managed to escape with only minutes to spare after being warned by a young Virginia militiaman. The British then destroyed everything except the main house. All of the crops, livestock and outbuildings were burned or seized.

Questions? The decadent freedom that you enjoy and are getting ready to piss away was largely made possible by a young man who was already financially established and the father of young children, pushing it all in and putting an enormous target on his own back. Heaven forbid that we should LEARN ANYTHING from history or FOLLOW THE EXAMPLE of those that came before us.

A New Experiment: What the Church Really Teaches on Socialism

I don't usually link to sites such as TFP Student Action because so often they are soliciting for funds. There are certain causes I believe in supporting but many sites seem to be part of the increasing the numbers of mail in my inbox & I don't want that to happen to you. This post doesn't ask for money & provides information that every Catholic ought to know. Namely, what the Church really teaches on socialism & those ideologies that are similar to socialism (i.e. fascism). There are links to excerpts of what the Holy Fathers have said from Pius IX in Nostis et Nobiscum to Benedict XVI in Deus Caritas Est. Every Pope in-between is included because, as Blessed John XXIII  said, “No Catholic could subscribe even to moderate socialism” He goes on to say:

“Pope Pius XI further emphasized the fundamental opposition between Communism and Christianity, and made it clear that no Catholic could subscribe even to moderate Socialism. The reason is that Socialism is founded on a doctrine of human society which is bounded by time and takes no account of any objective other than that of material well-being. Since, therefore, it proposes a form of social organization which aims solely at production; it places too severe a restraint on human liberty, at the same time flouting the true notion of social authority.” (Mater et Magistra, n. 34)

It always comes down to obedience. Will we be obedient to ourselves or obedient to the teaching of the Church? Will we see what is before our eyes or pretend that there is no attempt to make the America a socialist country? Whom will we obey? Whom do we follow? To whom is our allegiance? Yep, it's a matter of obedience. Click the links in the TFP article. Read all of the encyclicals noted on the page that tells us what the Popes have taught. Pray for enlightenment & to be obedient. It's hard to change, I who have changed so much know that. (I used to believe in socialism lite until I read what the Church teaches & decided to obey.) Now all Catholics in the USA, all Catholics in the world must decide whether to obey. We must become radically different people. We must become people of charity & love. We must give up believing that we can write a cheque or have taxes deducted & there ends our commitment to the poor because the state will handle everything. That is not charity. It is not obedience. That is an attempt to avoid discomfort. That is socialism, sometimes lite, sometimes totalitarian communism.

A New Experiment: My Miracle

each Wednesday, I'm supposed to inject myself w/ methotrexate, a chemo therapy drug that is a treatment on it's own & a part of the chemo treatment I have every 6 - 12 months. the problem is that I forget. it is just so odd to intentionally stab myself even though it usually doesn't hurt. it's icky but it's also something I must do. except, I am somethimes 1 - 3 days late & every so often, I miss an entire week. I know it's important & that left to myself I don't do very well so this week I asked God to remind me, then I forgot about it. yesterday morning I awoke & one of the large plastic bags that have the word "chemo" in large, bright yellow letters which my pharmacy uses to hold my tiny vials of medicine was propped up against my lamp on my nightstand. it held syringes & swabs so I assume it was one of the bags from the drawer where I keep my supplies. but last month, I cleaned that drawer so that all the syringes were in one bag & all the swabs were in the box of alcohol swabs. I may have missed a bag but it would have been down at the bottom. when I opened the drawer, everything was packed tightly as it had been the previous week. perhaps, I "walked in my sleep" (it wouldn't have been walking far) but I've never walked in my sleep before while taking this medicine. in fact, it knocks me out & getting my muscles to work so I can get up for any reason, even an emergency, requires so much effort, it wakes me & even awake, I must force each movement & look like Frankenstein in an old black & white film: I am always aware when I must get up after taking my sleeping medicine. needless to say, I didn't forget to stab myself & take my medicine yesterday. and however the bag got there, I plan to simply accept it as one of those small miracles God provides & not worry about whether He woke me w/o my knowing it or sent an angel or saint (or came Himself) & placed the bag there. He reminded me. that's what I asked Him to do & that's what He did. God is very good.

Sunday Snippets

The big issue this week is abortion. Partly, because I've been voluntold to assist the pro-life group at my parish but also because, as time passes, I find the issue of abortion is more & more important. As a nation, we must end abortion. Corruption is the #1 issue facing our country & abortion is the most corrupt act in which we engage. If it is acceptable to destroy babies in their mothers' wombs, then it is acceptable to commit any crime, engage in any sort of lawlessness - each of us may do anything we please. If we do not end it, abortion will destroy us.

Have a blessed Sunday.

NOTE: Please pray about the possibility of Congress using the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment to make abortion illegal. It's a possibility I've only recently learned about & as I learn more, I'll post here, on my Facebook page & in my twitter feed; the latter is linked to this blog.

A Wise Young Woman, an Excellent Site & Ways to Help Keep Children Alive

If you're willing to learn the painful facts about abortion, if you're willing to move from feeling abortion is wrong to participating in the fight to end abortion, watch this video:



read this site. First make ending abortion a regular subject of prayer. It needn't be anything formal: I literally plead w/ God to help us end abortion. Then speak w/ the pro-life group at your church. If you don't have such a group, begin one. Google "how do I begin a pro-life group" or "crisis pregnancy services in [insert your city/town]." You'll find a wealth of information & help.

There is so much everyone can do, from making donations to actually helping women who would otherwise choose abortion. Those of us who have never married but who long to be parents can help mothers raise their children by offering everything from financial support to mentoring to babysitting every so often so that single mothers can get out of the house. It may not seem the same but just try it. You'll soon discover the joy of helping a child to live & adults to be free from the burden of having killed their own child.

A New Experiment: Hell Loses Again

This is an excruciatingly amazing recount of God's grace; of how He even reaches into the hells that others try to create for us, the hells we are convinced we can never escape & brings us into the freedom & protection of His loving & forgiving embrace. God is so very, very good!

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/abused-bishop-ready-to-forgive/story-e6frg6n6-1226133531732

Sunday Snippets: Lesser Known Catholic Mystics

Physically, my health has been poor for some time (though you'd never know to look at me); I've had difficulty swallowing for months & have been on a mostly liquid diet. Spiritually, I'm experiencing an interesting time. I really don't know how to describe it. It's as if I'm on the verge of something. There's some writing I'm preparing to do that is dredging up memories, experiences, things that I once valued & thought were lost, more than I know how to express. For example, singing has always been a very important part of my life. As a child, when I first came to this country, I sat alone reading books & singing songs to God. I sang in school & church choirs & even studied opera as a young woman in New York. A life on the stage was not at all appealing to me so opera was soon ruled out but music was not; music has always been part of my prayer life. In looking through some of my writing, I was reminded that I had written a number of songs, prayers, psalms - I wanted to sing to God the music in my heart. Illness pushed music to the background but being a parishioner at an Anglican Use parish, where, week after week, we sing the Psalm in Anglican plainchant & where hymns are well-written & thoughtfully chosen has begun to reconnect me to singing as a central way to praise & pray to God. Last week, I bought myself a gift, a piano/keyboard; it arrived Thursday & a friend kindly came over yesterday & helped me set it up. I played a few chords but feel almost afraid of it. There is new music inside me, music born of my return to the Church & my deepening understanding of the gifts God has so generously bestowed upon me. It frightens me: only music or dance could express the longing, the gratitude, the love. Is it possible for a mere human to write of that love?

As a child, I found an old children's missal & hid it under my mattress along w/ a copy of The Song of Bernadette. The missal was definitely pre-Vatican II & out of date when I found it. I've been looking for online for something similar but haven't had much luck yet - all the missals I find in my price range are post-Vatican II. So I continue to look. Then today, my friend, Dawn Eden sent me a link to a post about Nellie Organ, whom I'd never encountered before. Her story touches something very deep inside me; another child who is friends w/ my Friend. I am almost envious because her life was not marred by sin as my life has been. Almost, but not quite. I will accept the life I've been given & trust my Friend to continue to be the Friend He's always been.

I have no idea what is going on or where any of it will lead. I know I will follow though, I must admit, it feels as if it is tearing me apart. I will follow. What else would I do? Where else could I go? I am like a young child riding on her Father's foot, clinging to his leg. This is where I belong, no matter where the trip takes me. This is where I am happy to be. And if I'm not particularly happy every moment, this is the only place that I have hope to become happy. And it's a great foot, big enough for many, many riders. And maybe I could work on uncovering the mysteries of the Holy Foot.

Oh yes, Dawn has a new book, My Peace I Give You, that is expected this spring. I was honoured not only to read it but to give feedback as she was engaged in writing. It promises to be a source of healing for many, many who have been abused or have abused themselves. Plan now to read it whether or not abuse has had any place in your life.

Oh yes two, it seems I'll be undergoing another round of chemo soon. Prayers for that & for everything in my life these days.

A New Experiment: Ezekiel 22

This morning, I first read:

Moreover the word of the LORD came to me, saying, "And you, son of man, will you judge, will you judge the bloody city? Then declare to her all her abominable deeds. You shall say, Thus says the Lord GOD: A city that sheds blood in the midst of her, that her time may come, and that makes idols to defile herself! You have become guilty by the blood which you have shed, and defiled by the idols which you have made; and you have brought your day near, the appointed time of your years has come. Therefore I have made you a reproach to the nations, and a mocking to all the countries. Those who are near and those who are far from you will mock you, you infamous one, full of tumult. "Behold, the princes of Israel in you, every one according to his power, have been bent on shedding blood. Father and mother are treated with contempt in you; the sojourner suffers extortion in your midst; the fatherless and the widow are wronged in you. You have despised my holy things, and profaned my sabbaths. There are men in you who slander to shed blood, and men in you who eat upon the mountains; men commit lewdness in your midst. In you men uncover their fathers' nakedness; in you they humble women who are unclean in their impurity. One commits abomination with his neighbor's wife; another lewdly defiles his daughter-in-law; another in you defiles his sister, his father's daughter. In you men take bribes to shed blood; you take interest and increase and make gain of your neighbors by extortion; and you have forgotten me, says the Lord GOD. "Behold, therefore, I strike my hands together at the dishonest gain which you have made, and at the blood which has been in the midst of you. Can your courage endure, or can your hands be strong, in the days that I shall deal with you? I the LORD have spoken, and I will do it. I will scatter you among the nations and disperse you through the countries, and I will consume your filthiness out of you. And I shall be profaned through you in the sight of the nations; and you shall know that I am the LORD."

My eyes focused on the words, "bloody city," and I thought, 'abortion'! Then I read the New Jerome Biblical Commentary: "sheds blood: This accents the violence committed against others by the powerful, which will lead to all the other offenses listed in the following verses."

Ezekiel 22 continues at verse 23:

And the word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, say to her, You are a land that is not cleansed, or rained upon in the day of indignation. Her princes in the midst of her are like a roaring lion tearing the prey; they have devoured human lives; they have taken treasure and precious things; they have made many widows in the midst of her. Her priests have done violence to my law and have profaned my holy things; they have made no distinction between the holy and the common, neither have they taught the difference between the unclean and the clean, and they have disregarded my sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them. Her princes in the midst of her are like wolves tearing the prey, shedding blood, destroying lives to get dishonest gain. And her prophets have daubed for them with whitewash, seeing false visions and divining lies for them, saying, `Thus says the Lord GOD,' when the LORD has not spoken. The people of the land have practiced extortion and committed robbery; they have oppressed the poor and needy, and have extorted from the sojourner without redress. And I sought for a man among them who should build up the wall and stand in the breach before me for the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found none. Therefore I have poured out my indignation upon them; I have consumed them with the fire of my wrath; their way have I requited upon their heads, says the Lord GOD."

In our time, we tend to focus on one or two issues often because we can't take in all the information that comes our way. It's important to remember that the five Catholic non-negotiables: abortion, euthanasia, embryonic stem cell research, cloning & any attempts to redefine marriage, are the minimum from the Church's social teaching to which we must assent in order to be in communion w/ the Church. But, they are not the limit of those crimes that cry out to God for vengeance. In fact, another crime that cries out to God is violence on the part of those in power against those being governed, those over whom one has power: it's as if Ezekiel 22 is a foreshadowing of the servant role that government is supposed to exercise.

At least 500 longshoremen stormed the Port of Longview about 4:30 a.m., broke out windows in the guard shack and — as longshoremen wielding baseball bats and crowbars held six guards hostage — others cut brakelines on box cars and dumped grain, according to Longview Police Chief Jim Duscha.

"We're not surprised," Duscha said. "A lot of the protesters were telling us this in only the start."

We live in a time when there have been calls for violence against members of the tea party & against those who don't agree w/ the people in power. Not long ago, the tea party was accused of using violent rhetoric. Now, those in power & those who feel they have the protection of the powerful (such as some union leaders) are calling out for violence against those who disagree w/ them.* And, some are responding to those calls (the article cited is only one instance; there are others).

Perhaps they don't know that their sins cry out to God. Natural law precludes taking a few men hostage while vandalizing & destroying the property of those with whom one disagrees. Perhaps they don't have any understanding of natural law. Perhaps they don't know the difference between right & wrong. We ought not be surprised, if one can kill a baby in his mother's womb, then it's easy to rationalize engaging in violence against adults & private property. We must pray for those who call others to violence & for those who engage in acts of violence. We must engage in acts of penance on their behalf because they are sorely in need of a change of heart.

Things changed with Christ. We became empowered to suffer on behalf of others, just as He did. We can "stand in the breach." There are many in our country who desperately need Christ's love & peace. Please, please, please, offer up prayers & sacrifices on behalf of all who use violence against the weak: on behalf of those who have & provide abortions & on behalf of those who call out for violence & lawlessness.

* I must be honest, a fringe group of persons involved w/ the Tea Party speaks of violence. Once in awhile, I visit their blogs & remind them that violence is not to be countenanced. Others make regular visits & engage such foolish people in long debates. I salute them but haven't the energy to wage such battles regularly.

Confession, it's great for the soul!

Sunday Snippets

I'm participating in something called Sunday Snippets for the first time this week. Several Catholic bloggers each highlight one of their posts from the previous week & then provide links at the "host" blog. This week I'm highlighting my post on Ezekiel 12. Since I don't always update my blog on, at least, a weekly basis, I don't know if I'll always participate. We'll see what the future holds. This week, I hope you find lots of great things to read. God bless you all. I've not said it in a while but you all remain in my prayers. Have a glorious Sunday!

Thomas Aquinas's Childhood Journal (Excerpts)

The high boredom factor always had me hating philosophy. But now I know, it was only the adults. I totally relate to the young Thomas Aquinas & feel absolutely no desire to edit him down to 15 words or less.

A New Experiment: Ez 13 - Will you hunt down souls?

In the past, I devoured the Bible & missed a great deal. I've been re-re-re...reading it for about a year or more now & am only at Ezekiel 13. Verses 17 - 23 really stood out:

"And you, son of man, set your face against the daughters of your people, who prophesy out of their own minds; prophesy against them and say, Thus says the Lord GOD: Woe to the women who sew magic bands upon all wrists, and make veils for the heads of persons of every stature, in the hunt for souls! Will you hunt down souls belonging to my people, and keep other souls alive for your profit? You have profaned me among my people for handfuls of barley and for pieces of bread, putting to death persons who should not die and keeping alive persons who should not live, by your lies to my people, who listen to lies. "Wherefore thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I am against your magic bands with which you hunt the souls, and I will tear them from your arms; and I will let the souls that you hunt go free like birds. Your veils also I will tear off, and deliver my people out of your hand, and they shall be no more in your hand as prey; and you shall know that I am the LORD. Because you have disheartened the righteous falsely, although I have not disheartened him, and you have encouraged the wicked, that he should not turn from his wicked way to save his life; therefore you shall no more see delusive visions nor practice divination; I will deliver my people out of your hand. Then you will know that I am the LORD."

Curious about the women who hunted the souls of men, I Googled the citation and found the following:

Satan’s Basket of Beans – “Rowland Hill began his sermon one morning by saying, ‘My friends, the other day I was going down by the street, and I saw a drove of pigs following a man. This excited my curiosity so much that I determined to follow. I did so; and, to my great surprise, I saw them follow him to the slaughter-house. I was anxious to know how this was brought about; and I said to the man, “My friend, how did you manage to induce these pigs to follow you here?” “Oh! Did you not see?” said the man. “I had a basket of beans under my arm; and I dropped a few as I came along, and so they followed me.” ‘Yes,’ said the preacher; ‘and I thought, so it is the devil has his basket of beans under his arm; and he drops them as he goes along: and what multitudes he induces to follow him to an everlasting slaughter-house! Yes, friends; and all your broad and crowded thoroughfares are strewn with the beans of the devil.’ ” –from New Encyclopedia of Prose Illustrations (page 21).

I'm still a bit curious about the practice of hunting the souls of men & the use of magic bands & veils but Rowland Hill's sermon causes me to think that whatever the anthropology of the practice, this is what Satan is doing. He wants us to be pigs following a trail of beans to a slaughter-house - scary & what we are so ready to do.

A New Experment: Ezekiel 12

Every five to seven years, I read the Bible from beginning to end as if it is one book. The first time I did so, I was about five. Each evening, my foster father would gather all the kids & his wife into the living room to read Scripture, listen to a very long, convoluted sermon (having mostly to do with himself) & pray long, convoluted prayers (having mostly to do with himself). When a child learned to read, he was given a Bible. I had learned to read before my parents sent me away & couldn't wait for my turn to read aloud & get my very own Bible. It took some insistence on my part, they were most reluctant to accept that I could read, but I finally convinced them & very soon had the Bible I so desired. No one taught me the right way to read it so I just treated it like any other book. And I hadn't been taught that I ought to be able to understand everything I read so I was unfazed with & just waded my way through begats & how the many pomegranates were to be embroidered on the meeting tent & similar texts that made no sense at the time. Once in a while, I'd ask my foster mother questions (occasionally, she'd even let me read the big family Bible w/ pictures & gold edges & the wonderful leather binding fragrance). Rarely, I'd save a question for my foster father. But mostly, I just read & decided I could always read it again when I knew more.

This is my eighth 'beginning to end' reading, I think. Of course, I've studied particular books & read the Bible or heard it read nearly everyday. But there's something different reading it this way. The God of the old testament is clearly the God of the new testament. He has put up with His straying people for many, many years & they just won't follow His laws - Israel insists they must be like the surrounding nations. Then God sends prophets to warn of impending exile. None is so compelling, so dramatic, so graphic as Ezekiel as He acts out the prophecies according to God's instructions - if they won't listen, and they won't - God will send the message in dramatic form. That's from my perspective of course. I think the ruling class of Israel saw Ezekiel as a comic buffoon, but that's just my guess; they didn't believe him.

In Ezekiel 12, according to the usual formula, "[t]he word of the LORD came to me:

'Son of man, you dwell in the midst of a rebellious house, who have eyes to see, but see not, who have ears to hear, but hear not; for they are a rebellious house. Therefore, son of man, prepare for yourself an exile's baggage, and go into exile by day in their sight; you shall go like an exile from your place to another place in their sight. Perhaps they will understand, though they are a rebellious house. You shall bring out your baggage by day in their sight, as baggage for exile; and you shall go forth yourself at evening in their sight, as men do who must go into exile. Dig through the wall in their sight, and go out through it. In their sight you shall lift the baggage upon your shoulder, and carry it out in the dark; you shall cover your face, that you may not see the land; for I have made you a sign for the house of Israel.' And I did as I was commanded. I brought out my baggage by day, as baggage for exile, and in the evening I dug through the wall with my own hands; I went forth in the dark, carrying my outfit upon my shoulder in their sight.

In the morning the word of the LORD came to me: 'Son of man, has not the house of Israel, the rebellious house, said to you, `What are you doing?' Say to them, `Thus says the Lord GOD: This oracle concerns the prince in Jerusalem and all the house of Israel who are in it.' Say, `I am a sign for you: as I have done, so shall it be done to them; they shall go into exile, into captivity.' And the prince who is among them shall lift his baggage upon his shoulder in the dark, and shall go forth; he shall dig through the wall and go out through it; he shall cover his face, that he may not see the land with his eyes. And I will spread my net over him, and he shall be taken in my snare; and I will bring him to Babylon in the land of the Chalde'ans, yet he shall not see it; and he shall die there. And I will scatter toward every wind all who are round about him, his helpers and all his troops; and I will unsheathe the sword after them. And they shall know that I am the LORD, when I disperse them among the nations and scatter them through the countries. But I will let a few of them escape from the sword, from famine and pestilence, that they may confess all their abominations among the nations where they go, and may know that I am the LORD."

These verses resonate within me. I feel as if their story of exile is mine. The more I think of it, the more it seems that my homeland got it wrong, woefully wrong and I am part of the scattered remnant left alive that I may confess the abomination of the leaders of countries that focus on power & ideologies rather than teaching their citizens to be virtuous & to love & follow God.

Most Brazilians who escaped during the time of oppression were like my family, well educated & comfortably well off. And, as my family did, they went to England. But somehow things were different for me. What that difference was is shrouded in the past & I doubt I'll understand it this side of heaven. But the madness that destroyed part of my family in Brazil reached out in some way caught my parents about two years later. Except, and there is always an except because God has been made man & all things are new, before they were killed, my parents sent me to the United States of America which was constituted, as John Adams said, "only for a moral and religious people" and is "wholly inadequate to the government of any other."

So now I continue to ponder, "[b]ut I will let a few of them escape from the sword, from famine and pestilence, that they may confess all their abominations among the nations where they go, and may know that I am the LORD." I was sent here that I may know God is the Lord & I'm pretty sure the 'except' is, if I will know Him as Lord, in encountering me others will know that He is the Lord too. He is the Lord & we must be willing to become a moral & religious people. Not because we might be exiled, though that ought to be reason enough, but because He is the Lord. To be anything else is to be a "rebellious house who have eyes to see, but see not, who have ears to hear, but hear not" who reject God's gifts to us simply because we are a "rebellious house."